by DJ Schofield |
Last Updated:May 6, 2015 What is beauty? As a dude, what defines beauty? What distinguishes a “beautiful girl” from a “cute girl”? A “beautiful girl” from an “ugly girl? Is everything solely based on appearance?
Webster dictionary defines beauty as (yes, I know I’m a dork): the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. In short, a “beautiful girl” gives pleasure to the senses, mind, or spirit of another individual.
I use to be the absolute worse at this. I would judge any and everyone by their external appearance. I didn’t have a single care for what was on the inside, what was in their mind, what was in their heart. This was part due for my cynicism and part due in never having the chance to view the internal components of someone.
When was the last time you sat down and had a true heart to heart with someone? Well to make yourself feel better I went about the first 19 years of my life without having a true heart to heart. I don’t mean talking to your friend about your most recent break up… that is, more times than not, an emotional talk. I’m talking about a sit down with a person you are close with and discussing true, meaningful things you have about certain topics… Your views, your opinions, how you feel, what you like…. I think you get the point.
The next time you have a chance at a deep conversion with a friend, significant other, or family member I invite you discuss the meaning of beauty. What does it truly mean to you?
To me, beauty is a word that has lost its value because of its overuse and use out of context. I remember in middle school when calling a girl beautiful meant “I really like you for who you are.” Now, its seems like calling a girl beautiful could just be a way of saying “You’re physically attractive to me and I want to sleep with you so I will use this word because you will probably like it and will give me a better chance of fulfilling this desire.” Nearly every guy in this generation has, at some point, used “beautiful” for this reason whether it worked or not. Yes, I am guilt myself.
What we don’t understand is no where in the definition of beauty is the word external or physical. No where does it say beauty means external attraction or physical attraction. So what does it mean?
I believe the best explanation for beauty is in the Bible:
Proverbs 31:30 NIV
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
The main part to focus on in this scripture is “beauty is fleeting.” Jesus is saying that beauty only last for a very short time… think about how true this is. The average person is normally only “physically attractive” (I would call this a person’s “prime”) for a short time before age begins to set in… Unless you’re Jennifer Aniston, of course.
So, what good is a “beautiful” wife (who will soon grow old) that you have nothing in common with and doesn’t make you happy? None. Wouldn’t an uplifting spirit, a motivating heart, a dedicated mind, and a relationship built through Jesus Christ sound a bit more appealing for the long haul?
I do know that it is difficult to look at women this way… It took myself much too long to realize that all women have a story, have emotions, and deserve respect. I have found out recently that every single human being has a story. This never hit me until I made the decision to give my life to Jesus. The first thing I realized is I was not the only one who went through good and bad times… Everyone does. And for most, much worse times than I had ever dreamed of. It is shocking to me that most of the time I would never put the story of a person with the actual person because they are so unbelievable.
I think it is so crazy and interesting now to learn about people’s stories. No one story is the same and I learn something from EVERY story. I have always been a great listener and I believe Jesus has been working through me to listen to many people’s stories and just to listen in general. I have found that there are many that love to talk but few that love to listen… I think because it takes more patience.
I have a challenge for you: Even though it may be difficult at first… before you judge someone’s appearance, learn their whole story. Sit and listen. Actively listen. Yes, this will take time. But to find the true beauty in a person is to learn what is buried deep in their heart and soul.